Squirrel in Chimney, Part Deux
Chapter Two of SQUIRREL! CHIMNEY!
Last night friend Barbara, the critter expert, suggested that we call Animal Control today and tell ‘em we have an agitated animal down our chimney and fear it might be rabid. They would then come and remove it. “That’s their job,” she said.
[With an aluminum pole and a noose????]
She also said it might well be a raccoon, and she should know. For many months she had them in her attic, finally had to scramble to catch sight of where in her flat roof they were getting in. When Robert said he didn’t think the opening in our chimney cap was large enought for a raccoon, she answer dryly, “You’d be surprised.”
Last evening he ingeniously blocked our fireplace opening with a big Foamcore piece, then a folded-up card table, then wooden braces. You’d have thought there was a giant fanged woolybooger in there, but mostly he did it to help me feel less nervous. Besides, neither of us wanted the animal to finally drop down into the ashes and then tear around the house, trailing soot and leaping from table to table, sofa to chairs, on our Persian rug.
This morning we banged on the damper and heard no sound in reply. So either RoBear’s Rope Trick worked, or the rodent is a sound sleeper or demised. After he pulls the rope up, R will come down off the roof, don a thick jacket and gloves (wishing he had a catcher’s mask), and move the barricade aside just a tad to peek in as he opens the damper. If nothing falls down it’ll be a glorious anticlimax to the whole melodrama. If something does fall down … well, I guess then we’ll slam the barricade back in place and call animal control.
Also anesthetize me and Buddy Bear.
Right now the pup is reluctantly taking a nap. (You’re putting me down now, Mom? At 11 in the morning? Sheesh!)
I’ll pause now to lurk at the top of the hall and peer nervously around the wall while Mighty Hunter does his thang.
Later:
Actually, I helped hold up a towel as Robert pulled open the damper. I thought my barely-slide-the-barricade-aside plan was better, but he’s the boss of this exercise. I had my shrieks at the ready but nothing fell out! The critter had indeed climbed back up the chimney, probably via the rope, and we imagine him saying to his mate, “Honey, I found a great warm place for our nest, but it didn’t work out. Now fix me a really stiff drink.”
